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Written by Etienne Delport
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Sunday, 27 April 2008 |
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A man is caught in a traffic jam when suddenly, someone taps on the window of his car. He lowers the window and asks what he wants.
The other man says, "President Mugabe was kidnapped and the ransom is $50 million dollars. If the ransom is not paid, the kidnappers have threatened to douse the President with gasoline and set him on fire. We are taking up a collection. Do you wish to participate?"
The man in the car asks, "On average, what are people donating?"
The other man replies, "About 5 to 10 liters".
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A man, tired of waiting in line at a closed petrol station, announces that he's off to Parliament to shoot Robert Mugabe. He returned a short time later complaining that the line there was even longer.
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Queen Elizabeth, Bill Clinton & Robert Mugabe die and go straight to hell.
Queen Elizabeth says "I miss England, I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there. She calls and talks for about 5 minutes, then she asks "Well devil how much do I owe you?"
The devil says "Five million dollars". She writes him a cheque and leaves.
Bill Clinton says "My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to see how everybody is doing there." He calls and talks for about 2 minutes, then he asks "Well devil how much do I owe you?"
The devil says "Ten million dollars". With a smug look on his face, he writes a cheque and leaves.
Robert Mugabe then says "I want to call Zimbabwe, I want to see how everybody is doing there. I want to talk to the ministers, to the deputy, I wanna talk to everybody".
He calls Zimbabwe and he talks for about twenty hours then he asks "Well, devil how much do I owe you?"
The devil says "One dollar".
Mugabe is stunned and says "One dollar? Only one lousy dollar?"
The devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, it's local".
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Robert Mugabe dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and he does not belong in heaven. Mugabe must go to hell.
So Mugabe goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home.
Then Mugabe notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who says "No problem, I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff."
When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked St.Peter is having lunch - and they start debating what to do.
Finally one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the luggage.
As they are climbing the wall, two little angels see them, and one angel says to the other, "My Lord, look at that! Mugabe has been in hell no more than ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!"
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How do you blow up the world's biggest balloon?
With 100% inflation.
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There is supposed to be an obesity crisis, isn't there? At least Robert Mugabe had the courage to stop his people overeating.
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In Zimbabwe a general election means that the Generals get to decide who gets elected.
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The difference between an election and an erection is that you cannot rig the latter.
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 20 July 2008 )
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those are good